"What do you want, Justin?"

•stability•
A home, a stable HOME- like I had with a couple years ago: good food: fresh vegetables, nourishing meals, well-stocked kitchen, pantry, fridge, linen, dishes, furniture...
A place to retreat to, to grow in, to protect, to heal.
I want (eventually) a house of my own, but an apartment is okay for now.

•freedom•
to travel
to come+go when I choose
to be myself
to pursue my sexuality
to be creative
...from persecution
from judgements about what I do or who I am
from physical harm
•health•
physical vitality
mental stability
emotionally stable- at peace with being sensitive.
Strength and flexibility
Psychic sensitivity
strong core muscles
clean, white teeth
clear eyes
smooth skin

•Abundance•
Financial success- to make $$$$$ (!) on the efforts of my creative ability- thru art, video; hard work, intelligently executed...
To set in motion financial decisions (investments, trusts, foundations) that benefit my family and the families that will come from my family. To enrich the community I live in, to support the people and ideas that my heart believes in, and ultimately provides what I never got to have: A safe, loving environment where mistakes are okay and life is a reward, a life of privelege: the best opportunities, the best education, the chance to travel the world, to explore and experience a wide range of people and places.

•A Life partner/mate/wife:
who compliments what I am, whom I compliment, who grows and inspires me to grow with her, who supports me emotionally, who wants children and wants to have them with me, who is kind, loving, gentle and firm. Who is smarter than me, patient, beautiful, and curious about the world. Someone who loves creativity, music, travel, ethics, believes in the real power of love, is humble yet has a deep awareness of her inner power, and practices mindfulness and kindness.

Wait

We are parked on Carlton Street, kitty-cornered from the Berkeley Humane Society, waiting to see as yet another place. Keelan is on the phone, excited about how this could be it, that signs abound, signs it's where are going to live. I am cross-legged in the passenger seat in D LORES, thinking thoughts, focusing on what is and how to be peace with it.



This has taken longer than I thought it would or, better said, that I had no idea how long it would take and am disappointed that it is not already over. Anyway, T-minus 15 minutes and counting. The guy showing it to us is meeting us during his lunch. I would love to have a Berkeley address. Writing this now to channel my anxious energy into something constructive. Hotel living is taxing. It is useful to do what I can to renew and focus my energy when I can. Let's see what happens.