Smoking sucks

In March, Justine and I quit smoking cigarettes. Over the next several months, I began to exercise and "get healthy" as though smoking cigarettes is akin to being sick. In a way, it is. A sickness. Now two weeks ago, in a fit I went out and bought a pack of American Spirits. I smoked and smoked, re-teaching myself what it is to smoke (it is definitely an acquired taste.) Now, it has caused fights and anger, resentment, and fear to surface. I have recommited to reading the excellent book Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking. The problem lies in the big monster and how it is not yet dead. I am trying not to believe that the rich taste of a cigarette wouldn't be exactly what I want right now, but I am ashamed and sad that I may well go get more smokes today. What is worse is that somehow the book does not actually help what I am suffering from. I know if I were ready, it all feels premature. I want to give this awful habit up, but not right now.