And the despair continues...

So the deal is I am not in the mood nor have the energy to push on today. I should check horoscope and see what is going on upstairs. The main thing is overwhelm. Nothing seems at all satisfying right now, not food, not art, not sex, not smoking, not video editing, not being in CoH, not masturbation, not friends, not drugs nothing. I am feeling that the next couple of weeks are going to be trying as I try and prepare for the last year at SFAI. My hope is that I get accepted to Stanford's MFA program in Art Practice, however I realize I have a lot of work to do in the meantime. I want that sense of control that seems to come when I am in the groove of things.