I'm back

Okay. Disclaimer aside.*

I'm back. Went for a beer with Bridget after work. I'd been getting the vibe that she wanted to talk, hang out, something, and I wanted to rant about Danielle and my situation to someone who knew her. I simultaneously miss her and am trying to get away. More on that later...
so I asked her if she wanted to grab a beer after work. It was awkward. There is an unnecessary tension between us, misplaced.I was thinking I'd just let her know tomorrow that my motives are pure...I'd rather that we be friends instead of there being weird tension.
About the getting away, moving toward thing:
I was a bit overly disclosing, perhaps. I can do that sometimes. I just want to be totally open, share it all, be free to air anything. Talked about sex, lack of it, lack of masturbation, lack of freedom, desire for freedom- specifically: Feeling strongly about someone, all the while knowing that there are others sending out "I'm interested" signals, but feeling like its a betrayal to follow through with them, even though no commitment has been made in any way...
Ugh.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________
*It has been a little minute since I last wrote...
Partly because I've gone back to the journal-that happens when I get more intimately involved with someone. So?
I was debating transcribing my journal into this blog, but I decided that the fact that a narrative could exist in multiple places, never being completed in any instance, works better than trying to cram everything into once place. Even if its as big as the interweave.