2010

If it's meaningful or not is something I am working out in my mind. What I know is:

I had not lived @ 410 Sola street.

SFAI was a fantasy- I remember drooling over the brochure, specifically the cityscape image of Nob Hill at night.

"Incite insight" was the most important art I was doing.

I was living in San Diego, in Hilcrest, working for Kinko's, renting VHS tapes from Blockbuster, going to Peet's frequently enough that we were awarded customers of the week.

Most of the friends I know now were still strangers living their lives outside my awareness; time can be understood as a vector, each of us an event, unfolding along a specific trajectory. That we would sync up is meaningful because some of my best friends over the last 10 years, are once again strangers.

36 now instead of 26, I like 36 better. I am thinking the next ten could be as meaningful, as significant as the last ten. That a child may be in my future, that I have yet to meet said child's mother, that she does not yet know I am her baby's Daddy.

% of time spent where-
Santa Barbara: 15%
San Diego: 10%
San Francisco: 70%
Homeless (travelling): 5%

Therapy seemed like a mysterious and fearful pursuit.

I am focused on getting back to San Francisco again, however this time I go with a completely different reason; Art is still a cause I believe in.

Some things are the same. Some are different. What had only just begun has long been completed. What was once owned has been lost. Worries, concerns, ambitions once burning have exhausted themselves like ancient solar systems, like dead galaxies- a web of associations, connections and reasons disassociate, unravel and burn out.