CL responds...

re: Girlfriends and Sex Parties

How 'bout this? mine is not going as far as wild sex parties like this, but what's worse is not having sex with me AT ALL. how did that happen and why are we still together? that's a long story but I'll tell you, I've gone through every unpleasent state of being conceivable.



re:girlfriend and sex party

GET OVER IT

If you have issues with her being out at that kind of party possibly having sex...THEN GO WITH HER. If she is into that kind of thing and you aren't then you two need to have a discussion and work somethings out.

I've been a swinger for years and every relationship I get into and my gf isn't in the lifestyle, I have a long, long discussion with them on what happens there and a few have gone with me....even a few of them participated and either said yea or ney. If they have an issue with it, we talk about it....then go from there. Personally, I only date bi women with swing experience because they are a little more open when it comes to me being out having fun and I personally don't care what they do as long as they are safe about it.

So, when you see her tomorrow, ask her what happened and let her know that you had those feelings and that you want to talk about it. Let her make her point and you make your point. Try to go to a party with her and see what happens. I'm assuming the place she went to was the Power Exchange (a great place).

Check it out, maybe even talk to a few people at the party and get a feel as to what really goes on there. Swinging isn't for everyone and unless you're a really open person with little to no jealously, then it isn't for you and maybe your gf isn't for you either.



re:re:girlfriends and sex parties



first off, I would have gone, had it been possible (no men allowed--except men who were once women). It is as much the fact that I cannot be there as it is her being there. As well, I am the one working to "open" the relationship, getting comfortable with branching out, etc, so she gets to play, while her not yet feeling safe, tolerating the possibility that I might do the same pretty prevents me from doing anything more than flirting.

So what?

A rant it was and ranting I will go...

Other Power Exchange events have garnered similar situations, all-girls night, bi-sexual women's groups, blah blah blah, all basically to serve the needs that I cannot fill.

Friendship, female companionship, a sense of community, being self-expressive, exploring herself emotionally/intellectually and now, sexually.

So be it.

I still love her, I am in love with her, and I know I am growing as a result of this, but sometimes I have doubts, and resentment, and want to whine about it for awhile.

Who doesn't?

What do you do when you've lost, you've surrendered, and at some point you wonder just how much more can one person hurt you?

And it feels safe somehow...

Better to be with someone than not, I guess.

Loneliness fucking sucks...