The Rancho

I haven't written much about this now legendary (in hippy/IV circles at least) house, but now that it looks like my stay here is coming to a close, I wanted to note some things that happened here while I got the privelege to call it home.

1. Ipod was stolen out my truck.
2. Sold said truck to pay for rent for a few months only to have to leave said room shortly afterward due to being out of money.
3. Crushed on a 21-year old woman after I promised myself I could *never* sink that low. Said never, when I shouldn't have.
4. Put a lot of Love energy as in meditating on the idea of love, of the transformative power of love and visualized in seeping into the walls of the house.
5. Have slept in every room in the house aside from the Bathroom and Kitchen. This includes the outside, too.
6. Learned more than I ever cared to know about the communal household version of c0-dependency. It sucked me dry. And I'd probably do it all the same way, any way.
7. When it comes to friends, I am willing to go ALL THE WAY, to protect and help them. Even if it means being put out myself. I always wanted that to be true, just realized it has always been true, just didn't have the opportunity to actualize it until recently.
8. Renewed my sense of creative self-confidence.
9. Propped up my ego with a false sense of sexual confidence.
10 Re-learned that I'd rather fall in love and make love than clumsily have sex with another body just because I can. Even if the sex is really great. It wasn't worth it, AGAIN.

11. I hate parties.
12. I hate drugs. FYI pot is not a drug.
13. The best thing that can happen to this house is if it gets torn down. The problem is, its the worst thing that can happen to the people who make it their heart and soul. This house breaks hearts. Its almost evil like that.
14. I let almost a year fly-by as I tried to, at first, launch myself into travel, and failing that, pick myself up off the ground and get back to me.
15. I cut off the longest hair I ever had while living here.
16. I am not a hippy.
17. Most people are just generous enough. Some people are terribly un-generous. A select few are overly generous. The last group carries the weight of both the first and second group.
18. Life cannot be normal as long as one lives here. At least not for me. Instability has become the norm. My tolerance for it has evaporated.
19. I will miss the shit of this place when I leave.
20. I will probably never return.