Deleted the inciteinsight.blogspot one in favor of the clearer, justincostanzo.blogspot address. And it feels good knowing I have some 'anonymity' again, seeing how this one is not linked to my facebook account. I am preferring to close off a bit while remaining committed to being 'open hearted' and vulnerable with whatever life gives me. More on this in a minute...
I am at a crossroads. One month into my new room. The Rancho, a fading memory. My social environment has shifted. I am spending large portions of the day in solitude. It feels refreshing to get to sequester away, and yet something in life...ahem-in L I F E ! , calls to me from some unknown distant location. Restlessness is growing again. I desire action, fulfillment through action. Wholesome enjoyment of self-love, happiness, peace of mind.
And there are so many other desires as well...
I reflect on my attachments...it is difficult to put into words, I'm afraid. Each time, I am taken aback...each time.
And I am remembering...something. I want it to be well-grounded, firm. Knowable. I understand the futility of wanting that; the paradox of life being the truth of things.
Paradox of Life=Truth of Things (?)
Enough of trying to figure it out (for the moment, at least).
I am resting assured that things will all work out. I am cultivating the 'unknowing' of things, getting out from under my own ideas of things and also letting the specific, singularly unique 'me' self shine through in order that I do God, nature, energetic vibratory states, justice in giving rise to this sheerly impossible phenomenon of getting to exist.
With that out of the way, I close with this. I know I will fall in love again, someday. That I will get to share in the life of another woman in a meaningful way, and that we will treat one another with real compassion, love and honor. I am thinking that my heart is truly healing, now. It feels easier to accept heart ache, and that is a great sign.
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