What is on my mind lately...

Paris!
Thailand!
New Car, sex, job, apartment, money, joy, effortless action.
Burning Man 2011-2012
Creative network of friends, artists, professionals-
projects?
Home.
Build my library of books I love.
What is coming?

What do I want?

I want a good home, with a solid foundation and a meaningful income. I want in the short term to eat good food, sleep soundly, to get stoned and dream big and set in action several possibilities; focus each one, and diversify my scope.

Get a good job here, get a room here, save money, go to Thailand, then Europe?
-running out of time on address. May have to give notice. May get a job tomorrow. I am open to either.
Put stuff in storage, travel around, live the hippy dream, meet new people, connect with people with similar ideas, build from those ideas. Grow an organization and profit from the result of it financially.

-work lots
-trim work.
Two points of interest:
I have no grow connections.
I do have some money coming in.
Keelan does have connections.
Is it worth puting up with the same old (stressed out) Kilo to *maybe* get some trim work? And in the meantime, travel around in a VW, looking for other people who are 'on the path'?
Potentially having to sleep in the outdoors, having to live cheaply while we get it done?

None of that sounds like what I want...

What I want is completely different.
To move home. To be home. To work for something bigger than myself. To participate in new life. To wake up every morning, grateful that I get to live the life I do, the REAL life I do, not the idea that, if I just keep being positive, it will EVENTUALLY get better.
I know it will all work out, what I really want is for it to be working out, RIGHT NOW.
I want love, companionship, sex, intimacy. I want financial abundance, gift giving, sharing, joy. I want stability, foundation, good food, health and wellbeing.

Move into a room in SF, hotel, if necessary. Get ANY job. Save my UI income+deposit toward a new place. Disengage from Keelan's train. Go my own way.

Focus my thoughts and ideas on what I want, not what anyone else wants, not what my folks, my friends, my ex-loves, my room mate, or anything else. But what I want...

And realize, that I am going to put the energy into seeing it come about. It is really quite simple.

TO BE CONTINUES.............